Where I've Been

I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and where I've walked in life. I look back and wonder how I got to where I am now. I was born in 1967 to a normal family, mom, dad and two siblings. I don't remember much of my younger years as a child, but know that my parent's divorced a year or so after I was born. The stories I have heard about my father were not always what I wanted to hear, and often times I wondered if there was more to the story. My dad was apparently raised Catholic, but I am not sure he ever continued in his faith. I don't have any memories of my father, except stories that have been told me. He died 4 months after my 3rd birthday, all I have of my father now is some pictures and some stories of the man he was. My mother remarried when I was only 4, and my stepdad became the only dad I ever knew as a father. I can't say that he was a great father, but he did provide for my siblings and me and took on a huge responsibility in caring for this "new" family he had married into. My mother never really treated him as he deserved, he wasn't perfect, but he did work a full-time job to provide for his "family". I think I have a lot more respect for him now that I have grown up then when I was a child under his authority. I wouldn't say he disciplined fairly, or that he disciplined out of love, but he did what he thought was best at the time. My mother was often very critical of him and always talked bad about him around us kids. I can remember arguments and fights that ended up in someone leaving or breaking something. It seems like all the things you ever dreamed life would be never seem to come true, or maybe they do but you just can't see it. I often feel like I am living someone else's life. If I had to choose the life I lived it would be so different. First of all, I would have lived in a loving Christian home, where God's love was clearly shown. I would have loved to have a family that loved the Lord and who wanted to know Jesus more than anything. I would want to have my father be a part of my life growing up. I definitely would go back and change a few things if I could. Maybe that's the part I have a hard time with trying to enjoy life now, maybe I want to change the past somehow thinking it will make things all better today. There are so many things that I dreamed my life would be and none of it has ever happened.

Learning to do things God's way

It's so easy to do things are own way, in that, we do things how we think they should be done and hope for the best in the end. But learning to do things God's way is definately a learning experience. We are a people who want control and want things to go a certain way. We make our plans and set goals for ourselves and even tell God how we think things should play out. Jeremiah 29:11 says that For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you and hope and a future. His plans are not our plans but His plans are so much better than our plans. God already knows our future and his plan for our lives is one filled with his promises. He promises to to bring no harm to us and to give us a hope. That hope is in Jesus Christ and the salvation he brings to us through his death and ressurection through his shed blood on the cross. Our plans have to be in line with Gods plans, Proverbs 16:3 tells to commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established. As believers we need to daily be asking God what his plan is for our lives. Do we commit ourselves to selfish desires, or worldly ways hoping God will give us everything we want? God desires for us to live for him fully and to serve him completely. Proverbs 16:9 says the Heart of a man plans his way, but the lord established his steps. Each step we take and every thing we do God knows and uses for our good and for His glory. Lord help me to walk daily in step with you and to trust in your plan for my life. 

Thankful for Gods work in my life.

Its been almost 2 months ago now that I was diagnosed with cancer. It was very hard news to hear as anyone can imagine, but as I look back I can see God walking with me every step of the way. From way back in May when my doctor started questioning the reason for me being anemic to this very day after my surgery and into my recovery, I have felt overwhelmed with God's goodness to me. God promises to never leave us nor forsake us, and I know that he has not forgotten me. I am so very thankful for God's ability to enable doctors to use technology (robotic surgery) to cure my disease. I am so thankful for God's protection in my life and how he allowed the doctors to find my cancer at a very early stage. I have felt his presence and peace in my life, and I know that he was looking out for me. My heart aches though for a dear lady in our church who was diagnosed with leukemia months ago and who has had to endure very difficult treatments. She is a huge inspiration to me, she has had to endure more than anyone I know, and yet she still remains strong in her faith. I know that God is faithful he has shown that to me these past few months. He is teaching me to appreciate life more and to live for Him more than I ever have before. I am so thankful for people who prayed for me, who lifted me up with words of encouragement, it was evidence of the body of Christ working to carry one another's burdens. God does answer prayer, I can testify to that.

What God wants from me.

God has been so good to me, he is loving and merciful, gracious and patient. He teaches me every day how to live for Him. Over the past several month's God has been showing me the area's in my life where I need to surrender to Him, and allow Him to work in my life. One of the things that I struggle with is wrong thinking. Doubting God's goodness to me, feeling like God doesn't really care about me, or just thinking wrong thoughts about others. 1 Peter 1:13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. I remember a recent sermon about how Christians need to think biblically. We need to align our thoughts with what scripture says. Not doubting what God can do, or who he really is. I often "forget" to think biblically. I get caught up in the woe is me pity party, and say if God cared, he would_________. Or if God really loved me he would__________. Then I begin to feel discontented and discouraged, and I allow my thoughts to rule in my heart and in my life. What I am really doing is opening the door for Satan to sneak in and speak lies to me, that sound like truths, when I am not aligning my thoughts with what God's word says. I am also learning that I need to throw off everything that hinders me from walking a Godly life. Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. I need to throw off those things that keep me from walking a joyful Christian life. Wrong thinking, Laziness, discouragement, discontentment, anger, bitterness, idols. There are so many things that load us down in our walk with the Lord, that we begin to lag behind. We need to daily throw off those things. We have to chose to not let those things entangle us, or make us trip and fall. I need to think about the things that are pure, and noble and right. Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Not only do I need to think about these things I need to put them into action. Another thing that God is teaching me is that I am free from the bondage of sin. Romans 6:5-7 5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. I do not have to allow sin to rule my life, I am free in Him. Romans 6:11-12 says, In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. It seems to me that changing my wrong thinking, and throw off that which hinders me, and then counting myself dead to sin all go hand in hand when living a life for Christ. It's a daily process one that will continue, and one that we must stand up against. Satan wants us for his own, and he will go to great lengths to take us down with him. I am thankful that God is working in my life and that he promises to complete that which he began. Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. God knows what he is doing, and he is teaching me to walk in his ways.

The discontented Christian

This week I have been thinking a lot about discontentment. I think God wants to teach me something. Why is it that Christians who have all they could ever need in Christ become discontent in their life? What is that we are longing for that keeps us so unhappy, is it worldly goods, or a better life, friendship. Do we not realize what it is we truly have in Christ. I know that there have been times in my life where I feel discontented as if something is missing in my life. I have all that I could ever need and more physically speaking. I have my health, a home to live in, and a family that loves me (at least some of the time), and I have enough food and clothing. So what is it that we are seeking to find fulfillment in life. What causes people to feel so discouraged about what they don't have. I think we set up for ourselves expectations of what our lives "should" look like and then we begin to be discontent, looking at what we could have had. If our focus is on the greatness of what we have in Jesus and if we are looking to him to fulfill our desires, then and only then can we truly be content. 1 Timothy talks about having great gain in godliness which brings true contentment. 1Ti 6:6 Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, 1Ti 6:7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 1Ti 6:8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1Ti 6:9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. When we begin to desire more then we have or need, we fall into temptation. We begin to covet the things we don't have, desiring more and more. But Timothy tells us that we fall into a snare into harmful desires. Discontentment can lead us into so much more than feeling unfulfilled in life. Hebrews tells us this: Heb 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Our contentment comes in the form of a loving God who promises he will never leave us or forsake us. We have so much more in Christ (His salvation) than we will ever have here on this earth. I am ashamed to think that I too have fallen into discontentment at times. 2 Corinthians also talks about contentment during trials and difficulties. 2Co 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. It seems funny to hear someone say you should be content in weakness, but according to this verse when we are weak we will be made strong. I guess God is trying to teach me to be content in everything. I know that he is working in my life and in my heart to change me. Blessings to all.

Loving like God loves

Its funny that as sinful creatures we tend to love others conditionally. We love based on the things they say or do, when then show love to us first, or if they are pleasing us, we love them with conditions. If they are meeting our expectations. We love them when we are "feeling" good about them or when they have done something for us. Godly love is unconditional. Its a love that only God truly gives to us. As fallen creatures we tend to fall towards conditional love, we even withhold our love when others fail us. Gods loves us all the time, in our weakness, and our trials, in our ugliness of sin, and our triumphs. He loved us so much that he was willing to give up his own son to die on the cross for our sins. I can't say that I am willing to give up that much to show love to someone. Especially someone who is unlovable. 1John 4:11 says. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. Its also says: 1John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. We are commanded to love one another. I find it difficult to love those who are hard to love. They are angry, unlovable people. Those are the type of people that we are to love even more, and yet it is so hard to love them. We consider them our enemies, those who continually hurt us, or make our lives miserable. Luke 6:27 "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. We are to do good to those who are like our enemies and to show love to them. Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. I need to learn to love like God loves. Lord Please forgive me for my conditional love towards those whom I find difficulty in showing love. Help me to learn to love the way your word tells us too. Help me to show love to my "enemies" and forgive them like you have forgiven me. AMEN!!!!

Controlled by Fear

Why are Christians controlled by fear? What things or circumstances cause us to fear? Why do we choose to not do the things that are right in Gods eyes because of fear. God's word tells us that perfect love casts out fear. 1John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. Why as Christians are we afraid to share the truth of Gods word? Or to speak the truth in love to a fellow Christian regarding a sin issue in their life. What keeps us from sharing what's really on our hearts in the midst of difficult times. Its FEAR!!! Fear of what others might think about us, or that we will be rejected by others. Fear that others will see who we truly are inside. God gave us his power and strength. 2Tim 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. He gave us the power of his love, and he teaches us self control. Often times I find myself fearful of what people might think of me if I share the truth about my struggles in life, or that they will somehow judge me. I want to be bold in my faith and speak truth to all. I don't want to be gripped by fear. Heb 13:6 So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" God is who I want to glorify in all I do and say, nothing that I do is out of God's control. Lord thank you that you are almighty, and you are all-powerful, you are in perfect control. Give me your strength to live for you each day, and to trust that you will keep your promises to your people.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8

1Co 13:1-8 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Not having love leaves us with nothing!! I wishI could truthfully say that I love the way this passage describes. It talks about love being patient and kind, and I am not very patient, and often times I am not treating others with kindness. Love does not envy or boast. I can't say that I pass this one either. I am often envious of what others seem to have that seems better then what I have. Love does not insist on its own way, yeah right. I think our sin nature says it all, we want our own way and often times will sin to get it. Love is not irritable or resentful. I think about all the times that I have been irritable towards others, so I must not have love. Resentment is also a hard one because I harbor resentment in my heart and often that resentment turns to bitterness. That does not seem loving at all. Love rejoices in the truth, what truth? Is it the truth of Gods words or what others say to be true about us, or about others. Love bears ALL things, that's the hard one. I am not sure I bear all things, often times I want to run away and say forget it, or want to fight for my own way. Love endures all things. I feel like I am at the end of my endurance, ready to give up the race. I am definately guilty of not loving the way Gods words says. Lord I don't know how to love the way you command us to. Love is so hard to do and takes so much effort, and it is often painful. Help me Lord to love the way you would have me to love. Forgive me of my unbelief and my unfaithfulness towards you. Give me the strength to love others the way you love them.

Resting in HIM

I am so thankful for what God is teaching me everyday. We have been studying the book of Hebrews, and this week we learned about resting in God. It was funny how resting in God took work on our part, we have to strive to enter his rest. Heb 4:11 says, Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. It seems kind of ironic that we have to work at it. As we discussed this at bible study, we learned that striving means to work towards trusting in God and believing he will do what he says so that we can "REST" in God. We have to have an assurance that God is going to carry out his plan, and in his time. But in the mean time we have to rest in Him. That often times means refocusing our thoughts and our minds so that they continually align with Gods word. We have to know what his word says in order to really understand God, to know him, and to be able to trust in him enough to rest. Its an effort on our part, but if we continue to walk with him through the struggles of life, we WILL rest in him if our hearts our trusting. Philippians 4:8 reminds how we should focus our thoughts. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. I truly need to learn to REST in God.

My Salvation Story

My Salvation Story

I was raised in a non-Christian home. I lived with my mother, step dad and 3 siblings. My parents did not attend church, but for some reason my mother decided that her kids should go to church. She arranged for a family to take us every Sunday. I remember as a young child wondering why it was so important for us to go to church but not our parents. I personally felt like it was a way for them to get rid of us for a few hours. Needless to say I went to church with a family who faithfully picked my sister and I up for many years. I remember going to Sunday school and to vacation bible school and learning all the stories of the bible, and hearing missionary stories. I remember our pastor at the end of each vacation bible study story he would tell us how we could come to know Jesus and have him be our savior. He would invite us to stay and pray with him to ask Jesus to be our savior. I remember how he told us about sin and going to hell, and how knowing Jesus would change all that. I knew then I did not want to go to hell so of course I prayed and asked Jesus to be my savior. Well over the years I began to learn more and more about who God was and about sin. I began to really understand what it meant to be a sinner and I began to understand the depth of my sin. Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I understood that God gave the ultimate sacrifice by sending his son to die in my place for my sin. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. I started looking at my life a little closer, and realized that I was truly lost. I knew that I had prayed that prayer and for the longest time I believed that I was saved. People would ask me if I was saved and I would say "well I go to church". Somehow I believed that going to church was all I needed to be a Christian. But when I began to look at my life and the sin I was living in I knew in my heart that I was not saved. I hadn't turned away from my sin. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. I never really understood what being a Christian really was, because I did not have it modeled for me at home. It wasn't until I was a teen that I truly began to understand and realize how lost I was and for the first time I understood my need for a savior. I needed Jesus to be my bridge so I could come to God. John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. One night all alone in my bedroom I knelt by my bed and began to pray. I wept as I prayed asking God to forgive me of my sin and to cleanse me. Psalm 51:2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! I knew then and only then that I was truly saved. It was then that God began to transform my life. I didn't desire the sinful things any longer. I even began to enjoy going to church where before it was a chore, and I had decided that I would quit when I turned 16. God had other plans for my life, and looking back I can see how he was at work in every detail of my life. God is good and he promises that he will complete the work that he began in me. Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Living in Faith and trusting God

I can easily say that life as a Christian is a struggle. We all face trials and uncertainty in our lives as we walk through life as a follower of Christ. I often times find myself relying on externals, and looking for the end result. Desiring for the struggle to come to an end, so that I can feel relief from the pain and the hurt that often comes with it. I forget that God has a plan for my life and that he is using the struggles, the burdens, the heartaches, to draw me closer to him. I want to trust God to do his work in me, and in the lives of those I love, but often times I ask God "why me". Instead of trusting God that he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it. Psalm 37;4-6 says Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. If I delight in him and make him first in my life, praising him, thanking him, giving him the glory in all things, my desire will be to please him more and more, and my mind will be less focused on the struggles of life. And in doing so I learn to trust God in his plans and allow him to give me the desires of my heart. That doesn't mean I will get what I want in life, but that I will receive assurance of his promise to complete that which he began. Lord thank you for what your doing in my life and help me to trust you to do the work.

My name is pride....by Beth Moore

I found this poem on Beth Moores website on her study about humility I thought it was very interesting to look at what pride is in a different light

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of a genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue. I'm looking to make a fool of you.God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...If you stick with me You'll never know.

http://www.lproof.org/Devotions/2003/weekly_devotional_016.asp